This is the last of my Postulations on Parenting.

I know.

There is weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth everywhere over this sad news.

You should have anticipated that a person with only TWO rules for her kids would have a limited philosophy on raising them.

Anyone who has grown children who DIDN’T do it my way will tell you my way isn’t the only way. And I will concede, other methods have been highly successful.

But if you still have kids at home – just between you and me, my way works the best. (Did you think I’d say anything different?)

I’m a big believer in consequences. If you ask either of my kids what consequences are, they will repeat to you (in a sing-songy, why-are-you-making-me-recite-this-AGAIN voice) “Consequences are the results of my actions.”

You wouldn’t believe how many times we made them say that.

But the beauty of being a kid is that many consequences are great learning experiences all by themselves.

For instance, if you try to take the TV remote away from your big sister, she WILL beat you on the head with it. If you wear basketball shorts in the dead of winter, you will be cold. If you stay up late on a school night, you will feel like crap the next day. If you tip a burning candle toward you to sniff it, you will dump hot wax down the front of your shirt. If you call the principal a douche-bag, you will get suspended.

Not that any of those things happened in my household.

But if they HAD, eh-hem, my kids would have learned valuable lessons without my direct involvement (other than the meeting with the principal.) And hopefully they chose better the next time.

When my kids were little, we parented like a cargo net. We firmly held them in place. But as they got older, we parented more like a safety net, we were just there to catch them if they fell.

There were times I went BACK into cargo net mode. It wasn’t often, but it happened. If I saw one of them making a choice that would seriously hurt them physically, emotionally, or spiritually, I stepped in.

A friend of mine used to tell her kids, “You will have the opportunity to make a lot of choices in your life. This is not one of them.”

Let’s be honest, kids don’t have the life experience to be able to make ALL of their choices ALL of the time. But for ME it had to be something threatening serious harm for me to take a choice away from them.

PoP #6 Economics 101: Supply and Demand.

We all know how supply and demand works. Basically, when supply and demand match, equilibrium is achieved.

But if supply is high and demand is low, the value of the commodity drops. Conversely, if supply is low but demand is high, the value of the commodity soars.

When your kids are little, you have a monopoly on the supply of wisdom and advice they get. But as they grow older, your kids start shopping other markets for information.

If you provide an over abundant supply of advice and supervision, you will drive it’s value down significantly.

Trust me. This I know for a fact. I know people – some of them still teenagers, some of them adults, whose parents supply a steady stream of parental input like the flow of poop at a sewage plant. Never ending.

And while those parents are patting themselves on the back for being “so involved” in their kids’ lives, their kids are disregarding 99% of it. To them it feels like just another load of crap. THEY HAVE TOLD ME THIS.

I’m not saying to withhold parental wisdom from your kids. The goal is to achieve equilibrium. Meet, DON’T EXCEED their guidance needs.

So simple.

There are a MILLION everyday choices kids can and SHOULD make all on their onesie. It also gives you the opportunity to teach them the art of solving problems WITHOUT creating problems for someone else:

“Dude, I’m sorry you chose to wear basketball shorts in the winter. No, I will NOT bring long pants to you at school. I’m so sorry you’re cold today, but I’m sure you’ll dress warmer tomorrow.”

See how it works? His problem, not mine. No reason to involve me.

If your kids look like they might make a really harmful choice, step in and take over. But the rest of the time, let them realize that consequences are the results of THEIR actions. And if they don’t like the consequences, they’d better choose better actions.

You’ll also find a more peaceful household because there will be fewer fights over silly stuff that really doesn’t have long-term impact on kids’ physical, emotional, or spiritual life.

I used to call this “picking my battles.” I didn’t start many battles, or fight many wars, so when I took a stand, my kids knew I was SERIOUS.

Supply and demand. If you allocate your wisdom prudently, the value of your advice will soar.

Eventually your kids will learn to produce sound judgment all on their own. Then rather than being their wisdom SUPPLIER, you’ll become just a consultant.

When that happens, it’s a great achievement for BOTH of you.

PoP #1: A Little Practical Magic

PoP #2: Fall In Love With a Vampire

PoP #3: Don’t Be a Unitard

PoP #4: Go GaGa For Your Kids

PoP #5: It Takes a Starfleet to Raise a Child

PoP #6: Don’t Be a Sewage Plant